What to Wear

Being a chick is hard. I'm learning this more and more. Don't get me wrong it has it's perks. I get to be lovely and whimsical when I want to. I get to be moody and introspective because I can. And I get to wear delicate clothes to feel more like a chick.

I still dress like a poor college student. But as the big 2-5 gets nearer I want to work on dressing...better.

Cause to be honest, when you look great you feel great. And clothes are about individuality. I guess I want to work on expressing my individuality more.

I like mixing masculine pieces with feminine ones. So i'm hoping the cardigan and dark blue skinny jeans will look nice with the floral print and maybe chuck taylors. I want to wear this to the museum next tuesday.

But i don't know? Is this musuem worthy?

How To Breathe Underwater.

So you are not going to believe this. Okay maybe you will.

I started this post on Valentine's day (which is why it will be published on 14th despite me finally getting around to finishing it on the 17!) but I only got to typing the tracklist before I had to get ready for work.

I didn't intend on it being a Valentine's day sort of post about the last playlist I made but it seemed fitting in a sense to put up the tracklist for Frogboots on the day of love.

Because I finally have a day off I figured I would finish what I started. But before I even turned on my computer and cracked my typing fingers I received some mail in front of my door. Snail Mail from Frogboots with an awesome Postcard, MixCd I have yet to listen to and a magical dinosaur envelope.

She sent it on Valentine's day. The same day I started putting up this playlist. I'm geeking out right now with excitement.

Oh where to begin....

My relationships with Frogboots goes way back. She is the first friend I made during this blogging experience. At 19 I was a very depressed, anxious and lonely girl. I started my blog because I had no one to talk too and felt utterly alone and quite miserable. Up until then I felt like my voice and experience did not matter at all.

When you're young you think that you are the only person who has ever felt the way you feel. That no one could possibly understand your pains of being a lonely introvert. That because you see the world differently, because you feel it differently does not mean that you are strange and invaluable.

I remember her first comment on my page, it was during a disastrous couple of days and I felt on the verge of breaking down completely. I was a sharp edge away from being committed or worse.

Out of nowhere she appeared just in time to let me know that while it is a long road to 'better' there is a road. A road for girls like me. She has been my voice of reason, smiles and sanity ever since. And while I am a private, sneaky girl with many hidden places (and identities) I have let Frogboots in to my life because she has proved to be a true friend.

I immediately gravitated to her kindness and honesty and spunk. We are cosmic twins whose experiences and views on life run the same course. And she is one of my greatest friends because of it. She knows me better than the people I see everyday. She has been on my cheering squad when I need the pep, a straight shooter when I need to hear it as it is, and a confidant when shit has hit the fan. We are cosmic twins, you and I. I value you more than site visits and facebook comments can justify. And I honestly couldn't imagine the journey without you. You have made the road worth traveling.

I mean it from the bottom of my heart.

How to Breathe Underwater was a organic experience to make because of my relationship with her. The songs came to me easily and I had to stop myself from making more than one mix for her. The title derives from my favorite collection of short stories by Julie Orringer. Everyone needs to read this collection even if I have to mail you my copy ( i will). The stories are beautiful, haunting and startling examinations of girls dealing with the complexity of adulthood.

They are about "innocent observers of a world wholly inexplicable at times...the weight of reality[pulling] characters ever upward, toward the light, and the acceptance of the frightening complexities of adulthood"



I knew then that this would be the title of her mix and the songs compiled would be sweeping, beautiful anthem of innocence and strength. I'd like to think of it as a soundtrack for the indie movie I have not yet penned. Where the ultra witty, nerdy, sweet girl doesn't always get her way but she gets a way. A way paved with good friends, boys whose hair needs ruffling and books galore. A movie where the path sometimes sucks and the pain does too but where there are gardens and dinosaurs and whales that make things better. Where magic and love are a heartbeat away:




1. Let's Go - Madi Diaz
2. Howl - Junip
3. Conversation 16 - The National
4. Love Lost - The Temper Trap
5. Vacationing People - Foreign Born
6. You Were Never There - Diego Garcia
7. In The Dirt - Sean Carey
8. Flowers - Anais Mitchell
9. Better Times - Beach House
10. The Great Estates - Freelance Whales
11. Blue Skies - Noah and the Whale
12. After the Storm - Mumford & Sons
13. The High Road - Broken Bells
14. Summer Holiday - Wild Nothing
15. July Flame - Laura Veirs
16. Washington - Sarah Harmer
17. I Want Belong to You - Katie Herzig
18. Take Care - Beach House



I listened to the finish product more than a few times and I am utterly smitten with the end result.



I had a fear that the mix would sound too sad or sullen, I didn't want it to be a downer of a listen. But overall each song fits so well with one another. I had to put a Mumford & Sons, Beach House and Broken Bell song on the play list because they have been stand out bands for me this year.



Some of the songs where new to me but fit so well I couldn't help but add them. I'd never heard of Sean Carey or Sarah Harmer until a couple of days before the mix was made. But surprisingly they are whimsical, lovely songs that added to the overall theme of 'surfacing' that I was going for.

'Take Care' by Beach House is my all time favorite single, which is why I wanted it to end this mix. I get a lot of free Cd's from work and hadn't realized I had this band in my Ipod until the song popped up in the shuffle. I can't explain how magical the lyrics are, especially because most of the song is composed of the singing lamenting "I'll take care of you". But it seemed the most fitting way to end a mix where previously the songs are about adventure, love, loss and finding your way back. It's about breaking the surfacing.



I feel so attached to this mix. Each song is special in its own way. I hope she (you) liked it as much as I enjoyed making it.



Mix Cd Extravaganza 2011 is now over. I'm grateful for everyone who participated. I received every one's mix in the mail and the songs are all beautiful and diverse. I look forward to next years exchange.



~Becks

Year of Magical Thinking.

Wow this has taken me a lot longer than I thought. Apologies again.

I wanted to use a title from on of my favorite books for the next mixcd I made. If you haven't read it "The Year of Magical Thinking" by Joan Didion is amazing. She is one of my favorite writers of all time. She writes with such placid, matter of fact, honesty that you feel so detached from her narrative. But this is how Didion pulls you in.

While the book is about grief, the title is such a contrast to the death she experiences. Like Kurt
s "Everything is Beautiful But Nothing Hurts" mantra there is a sadness to this way of thinking. Circa wikipedia (such a reliable source. I kid) the title refers to thinking "that if a person hopes for something enough or performs the right actions that an unavoidable event can be averted". I tend to agree with this analysis, especially as I continue to comes to terms with my own grief, the beginning of a quarter-life crisis, and yadda yadda yadda.



Despite all my complaints about my current situation, I tend to hold on to an optimism that even the worst of days cannot shake. I mean hell, I'm young, funny, a stones throw away from an amazing city with a strong future ahead of me. I can't complain all the time. Not all the time anyway.



So when making this Cd, all I could come back to was "The Year of Magical Thinking" for myself and for her. This person sent me an amazing MixCd last year and has been a strong support system. I am still listening to that Bon Iver song more times than I would like to admit and your commitment to writing has inspired my own ventures.



The track list that I ended up sending was a lot different than the one I initially made. I had troubles coming up with a cohesive sound. At times I felt as if the songs were too light, too heavy, didn't have a strong mix of contemplative and upbeat sounds. I went through several blank Cd's because the perfectionist in me struggled to fully get the "year of magical think' mix to sound like a year of magical thinking mix.



After adding some songs, deleting others and rearranging the track list like crazy I am more than pleased with the "Year Of Magical Thinking" collection. The songs are meant to be a mix of upbeat, apprehensive, low and restorative sounds. Because any path to happiness is often paved with a few setbacks.



My continued year of magical thinking has it's low moments but the strength in knowing that everything will work out has been all the strength I need. And for some reason I wanted to share this same sentiment with her:





The Year Of Magical Thinking:



1. Higher Than The Stars- The Pains of Being Pure at Heart

2. A World Apart - Vedera

3. While We're Young- Department of Eagles

4. Fader- Temper Trap

5. This is Twice Now- Lydia

6. Place to Belong- Little Dragon

7. Walk In The Park - Beach House

8. Fall Hard-Shout Out Louds

9. Misplaced- Acorn

10. The Ghost Inside- Broken Bells

11. Solid Ground- Maps & Atlases

12. Sort of Revolution- Fink

13. Mouthful of Diamonds- Phantogram

14. Falling Out of Trees- Barcelona

15. Just a Boy- Angus & Julia Stone

16. Little Lovin'- Lissie

17. Big Girl, Little Girl- Sia

18. Stay the Same- Bonobo



I added a Beach House song to all of the tracklist because seriously the band is amazing and everyone needs to check them out. Walk the Park is one of my favorite tracks by them and I suggest everyone listen to the whole album. I can send out copies if needed. But Misplace by Acorn, Sort of Revolution by Fink, and Stay the Same by Bonobo are stellar tracks as well. They have all calmed me in some way or other.



This mix is the edgiest of them all. Based on the tracklist I recieved last year from her I knew that I could add a Phantogram and Lydia without embarassment. Often times I am embarassed by the songs I listen to because they can be weird as hell sometimes. But a Little Dragon here or there never hurt anyone and they are a fun band.



I hope that this mix is a nice chill mix of suprises and of course magic. Though getting to the final product was difficult I am in love with the results. I hope you are too.



Becks.

Where Strangers....

I'm late on putting these up. Sorry. To continue where I left off, making these Cd's was fun and frustrating. Frustrating only because when it comes to making Cd's picking the right songs can be a struggle.

I am not necessarily great with themes when it comes to making mixes. I am however all about the way each song plays off of one another. I want my mixes to be a soundtrack of sorts that you can listen to through one sitting and get a sense of the person (me) who made it.

I made the conscious decision to put several of the same artist on the each playlist: Beach House, The National, Wild Nothing, Mumford or Suns and/or Junip. These bands are amazing and have induced profound listening sessions.

I highly recommend Beach House for further listening. I am in love with this band, I cannot express that enough.

Other then that the mixes were made specifically based on what I thought you guys would like. I tried to combine soft and hard sounds to balance out the listening session.

I am pretty proud of the music i compiled this year and I'm excited to shared with you the tracklist.

This year I had a new edition to the MixCd extravaganza and I received the first of my own playlists in the mail today from him! For that reason his will be the first tracklist I post:


1. Pickup Truck- Kings of Leon
2. Jacob- Sufjan Stevens
3. White Blank Page- Mumford & Suns
4. Willie- Cat Power
5. Afraid of Everyone-The National
6. The Loneliness and the Scream- Frightened Rabbits
7. Solitude is Bliss- Tame Impala
8. Don't Let It Pass- Junip
9. Coma- Kunek
10. Nothing is Ever Finished-Fink
11. Sun Hands- Local Native
12. You Will Leave A Mark- A Silent Film
13. Summerbaby- polaris
14. I'll Try Anything Once- The Strokes
15. Live in Dreams- Wild Nothing
16. 10 Mile Stereo- Beach House
17. Kingdom of Rust- Doves
18. Mirrorball-Elbow

I had a blast making this mix mainly because I knew immediately what i wanted to put together. The songs are mix of rock and indie with a few strong female voices to break out the very dude centered sound. I knew that I wanted to start with Pickup Truck by Kings of Leon because I find it a sweet and feisty song sung by a guy with a very southern voice.

From there I wanted each song so be an arresting mix of sweet tension and twisty beats. I personally adore the track by Fink and Tame Impala and I even threw in a secret Sufjan Stevens track.

The highlight though is track number 13 (by polaris). It is my all time favorite song. No lie! I wanted desperately to put this on every one's mix but it only sounded right on this one. It is from the show Pete and Pete which I grew up with and am influenced (writing wise) by today. The song is infectious and dirty and completely euphoric. I find myself dancing to this when I feel blue.




I am glad to share that one most of all.

I hope you enjoyed listening to it as much as I had making it. I can't wait to listen to the mix I received from you today!

I will add the other two tracklists as soon as possible.

Now time for music.

MIXCD EXTRAVAGANZA

Okay. Here is goes.

A month ago I sent out mixcd's to my blog friends for our annual MixCd Extravanganza.

The project was simple. I love blogging and the people I have met via this site have changed my life. Because of this I came up with a MixCd Exchange a year ago where I would send out personalized mixcd's as an appreciation to the people I have meet via this site.

And it was a major success. I feel closer to the people who have read my blog these past five years but who I have not been able to meet in person through this musical experience. Only a small band of us participated this year but the quality of the mix(s) have exceeded expectations.

This year I wanted to include a tracklist for your viewing pleasure. Unlike the previous year where I made only mixes for friends of the blog, I decided to also make a Everything Was Beautiful Mix. That CD was (is) available to anyone who has read my journal and found a kinship with my experience.

Each song on that mix is a tour de France of my blogging year and musical influences. The songs are catchy and cheesy and well should be considered a sort of soundtrack of my writing.

I compiled a lot of music this year folks. From oldies that i adore on my days off to new songs to pass the time.

While each cd was personalized to the participator the Everything was Mix consisted of songs that have specific meaning to my journal process. 17 of my favorite songs of the last five years, all of which I have mentally played during one or two scenarios of my anxious life.

I'll provide the track list for this mix first and add the three that I compiled for my musical besties in a later post.

EVERYTHING WAS BEAUTIFUL AND NOTHING HURT:

1. Let Go- Frou Frou
2. The District Sleeps Alone Tonight- The Postal Service
3. The Long Way Around- Dixie Chicks
4. Clocks- Coldplay
5. On Your Side-Pete Yorn
6. Breathe Me- Sia
7. Chariot- Gavin Degraw
8. Grey Street- DMB
9. Landed- Ben Folds
10. Another Place to Fall- KT Tunstall
11. All the Trees of the Field Will Clap Their Hands- Sufjan Stevens
12. Wonderwall- Ryan
13. Fade Into You- Mazzy Star
14. The Great Beyong- R.E.M
15. Breathe- Michelle Branch
16. Something to Sing About Buffy- The Cast of Buffy the Vampire Slayer
17. Dog Days Are Over- Florence & the Machine

These songs were sort of easy to put together. They are songs that I have listened to while writing or written about in posts. It's sort of a chick fest of music but I made up for it with the other more personal mixes.

To be continued.....